Nobody leaves voicemails. Here's what to do instead

We don't leave them either

Be honest. When did you last leave a voicemail? You ring somebody, the greeting starts, and somewhere around "please leave a message after the tone" your thumb is already on the red button. You'll text them. Or you'll try the next name on the list, which, if you were ringing a plumber about a leak, means the next plumber.

So here's what to do instead. Keep your mobile number exactly as it is, and forward only the calls you miss to an AI assistant that has its own phone number. When you can't pick up, your caller gets a conversation, not a beep. You get a written note of who rang, what they needed and what happens next. Setting it up means dialing one short code from your phone. The rest of this is the detail.

A voicemail is a job you give the caller

Think about what the beep asks of people. Compose a message on the spot. Say your number slowly, twice. Guess whether anyone will ever listen. It's a small job, and people dodge small jobs that might turn out to be pointless.

And when someone does leave one, you get what voicemail has always given you. A name, half a phone number, "call me back". You still don't know what the quote came to.

You can measure this yourself, and you don't need us for it. Open your phone's call log for last week. Count the missed calls from numbers you'd have wanted to answer. Then count the voicemails. The gap between those two numbers is the people who gave up.

Only the missed calls move

The feature is called conditional call forwarding, and the word that matters is conditional. Your phone still rings first. If you answer, nothing is different. Only when you don't pick up (you're up a ladder, in a meeting, asleep) does the call pass to your assistant's line.

You switch it on by dialing a code from your mobile, once.

• Verizon: dial *71 followed by your line's number.
• AT&T and T-Mobile: dial *61*1 followed by your line's number, then #.

Where to find your code

If you have a line with us, Settings has a Replace voicemail page that shows the code with your number already filled in, so there's nothing to copy wrong. The guide to forwarding missed calls goes through it carrier by carrier.

On a different carrier? Ask them for conditional call forwarding. Most offer it under one name or another. And if you'd like to understand what your phone is doing when you dial those stars and hashes, we wrote conditional call forwarding, explained.

What your caller hears

The phone rings as usual. Then a voice answers, says it's your assistant, says you can't get to the phone right now, and asks how it can help. It doesn't say "leave a message". It has a conversation, and asks the follow-up questions a good receptionist would ask.

Say the garage rings about your car while you're in a meeting. They tell the assistant it needs new front brake pads. The assistant asks what that will cost, whether the price includes fitting, and when the car would be ready if you said yes today. A minute, perhaps. Then it tells them you'll get the message.

If the caller asks whether they're talking to an AI, it says yes. And if it's your mother, who only wants you to ring her back? It keeps things short and warm, and tells you she called.

What you read afterwards

A written summary, marked "Missed on mobile" so you know how the call reached the line. It has the caller, the reason, the amounts, the dates, any reference number, the deadline if there is one, and the next step. You walk out of the meeting knowing the price of the brake pads and the one decision that's yours.

We keep the written call, not the audio. So there's nothing to play back at double speed in a parking lot, and nothing to transcribe in your head.

What it won't do in your name

It won't say yes to the brake pads. The assistant never agrees to a charge and never reads out a card number, so anything that costs money comes back to you. It won't pretend to be you, or to be a person at all. And it won't tell a stranger where you are or hand over your details.

That leaves taking good notes and being pleasant about it, which is all most callers wanted from your voicemail anyway. Plans start from $29 a month, and the pricing page has the rest.

Try it on yourself first

Once the code is set, borrow somebody's phone and ring your own mobile. Let it ring out. Have the conversation as though you were a customer with a question, then read the summary that arrives.

If you like what you hear, leave it on. If you don't, your carrier can switch the forwarding off again and you're back to the beep, no harm done. But make the test call before you decide. Five minutes on the wrong end of your own phone line will tell you more than we can.

Common questions

More on everyday use

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